"Absence makes the heart grow fonder" is a popular saying which means that the lack of something increases the desire for it. Does it really work this way in a love relationship? Well it depends on how involved or committed you are in the relationship. Lets talk in a bit more detail.
A long distance relationship has so many pitfalls and that's why it is so hard to preserve one. There can be so much pain, stress and frustration in such a relationship. But then here comes the saying "Absence makes the heart grow fonder". There is so much debate on whether this is really true. Does absence increase the love between the you two or does it gives you (or your partner) an opportunity to wander? There are two different sides of the story!
The first side:
If you are seriously rooted in your love relationship, the your love is neither affected by time nor by distance. No matter how long have you been apart and no matter how distantly you dwell, your hearts will be closer. And, of course you can connect and become closer with latest technology.
When you are not together, you miss the person everyday. Something that is easy to reach is less attractive or wanted for than compared to something that cannot be easily reached. That works here! You cannot see your guy or girl and cannot show up often at his/her place when you are at a distance. This makes it not so easy to get closer. You cannot be intimate (I just don't mean sex here!), you cannot share things in life face to face, you cannot of course, enjoy so many other benefits while you are at a distance.
This results in pain, lots of it. It does hurt your heart but certainly not the relationship. When you guys are apart, the love between you is fresh everyday. Every phone call or an IM feels like the first of it ever. You feel the love as fresh as it is. There is very less room for boredom. When you actually miss your guy or the girl there is more time and room for the feelings to grow and hence there is very less chance to get bored while you are together everyday.
You talk/chat/meet at some intervals and this is not everyday. So you (hopefully) have new/interesting things to talk as opposed to couple who meet everyday or who are always together. When there is less room for boredom, your love stays fresh.
When you go out to places that remind you of your love, that is an excellent feeling! It makes you realize how important your partner is to you.
The second side:
If you (or your partner) are (is) not seriously rooted in the relationship things are just the opposite. Guess what works in this case? The 'out of sight, out of mind' thing works well. Especially for flirting persons, this is a great deal. They can simply be free flirting with other guys or girls because their partner is not watching them.
The absence of the partner means less or no intimacy and the hormones come to play. Since the person is not well rooted in the relationship, the hormones win and the love loses the battle.
It will be very hard to establish trust in the relationship. A guy or girl who wanders (instead of fonder) cannot be trusted and yet even bitter is the fact that these kind of people don't trust others. You know why? Since the cheating chip is inside them, they have the same eye on their partner as well. So while they are happily and busily flirting their way at the distance, they would always think what their partner will be doing? Will he/she be with someone else just like me? Hypocrites!
Since there is no trust and no honesty, the commitment part is almost impossible. The absence in this case has facilitated a good wander.
So yes, it is really your heart's perspective. You can choose to fonder or wander in the absence. It all depends on how you value the relationship. I would say true love will fonder and the rest will wander!
What do you think?
