Showing posts with label Consider. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Consider. Show all posts

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Top 3 Tips to Consider When Buying Long Distance Relationships Reading Books

How many of you have bought a long distance relationships reading book? I'm in the business of helping people and have a degree myself. I've read many books on relationships and know many different techniques.

So, the question is, what books are worth reading? Well, I'm here to help you to decide.

Not all of the books in the bookstore are valid. Quite in fact, some of them are downright false!

I'm writing this article to help you decide which books to buy and to help you to watch out for the bad ones that are only out to get your money.

I will not provide names of books here; this article is meant to help you gain a general knowledge of what books are worth your time.

So, without beating around the bush any further, here are my top 3 tips when buying long distance relationships book:

Tip 1: Who wrote the book? Do they have at least a Master's Degree or Doctorate? A doctorate has several different incarnations. The most memorable one is Ph.D. I myself have a Psy.D., others have Ed.D.. There are several different ones. First and foremost just look to see if they have any credentials whatsoever.

Now, I'm not trying to say that all authors that lack initials behind their names are hacks. Some of them have little formal education, but several years of experience. Well, experience gives you knowledge too, which is something to consider.

Tip 2: Read the author's bio page to find out what their specialty is. For the purpose of this article, we would want them to specialize in long distance relationships. They could even have been in several ones themselves, and would be able to give you some insight into making long distance relationships easier for you.

Tip 3: Know that books will not solve all of your problems. They may help us in our relationships and other self-help areas, but they are not the end-all method. There is always formal counseling, etc. Don't rule out all of your options. Then again, sometimes education is key to relationship success.

Okay, I hope these tips help you when buying long distance relationships reading books.

For additional reading, please check out my resource box below.

For more help hen Buying Long Distance Relationships Reading Books, please visit my website, which will link you to Dr. Leslie Karsner's page that offers more FREE tips for your long distance relationship, as well as an OPTIONAL FREE MEMBERSHIP to "Go Romance eZine!", please Click Here!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Anthony_E_Miner

Anthony E Miner - EzineArticles Expert Author

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Issues to Consider When Beginning a Long Distance Relationship

Long distance dating relationships and long distance marriages are increasingly common. However, physical distance poses certain risks to these relationships. In my more than thirty years of experience as a psychotherapist, I've concluded that these risks vary in quality and meaning depending on the stage of the relationship.

Among dating couples, the greatest risk posed by physical distance is the honeymoon quality that characterizes their periods of togetherness. These relationships are frequently passionate and intense due to the constant cycle of separation and reunion. The limited exposure to one another often results in the partners having an idealized experience of on another, i.e. they see each other when they're at their best.

In my experience, the greatest risk associated with long distance dating is that a couple will decide to marry during the honeymoon phase. When this happens, neither has sufficient knowledge of the other, because they haven't experienced one another across a spectrum of life experiences.

When long distance daters get engaged, one partner usually relocates to the same city as the other. This often sets off a period of adjustment because they have greater exposure to on another. The honeymoon phase usually gives way to a more realistic phase. If the partners decide to move in together, their involvement with each other is amplified. Certain issues need to be addressed including: division of household responsibilities, detailed discussions and decisions about finances, the development of a shared social life, and perhaps greater involvement with or separation from one or both partner's family of origin.

A couple's ability to problem-solve together usually becomes more apparent during this more realistic stage of the relationship. If they experience difficulties, one of three responses tends to prevail: they seek premarital counseling, they continue with plans to marry despite the problems, or the relationship dissolves. In my experience, many premarital couples move forward with plans to marry despite the fact that they are experiencing significant problems. The greatest risk among couples who move from long distance dating to getting engaged is that the excitement about their marriage plans take precedence over learning how to successfully negotiate the problems they encounter in this realistic stage of the relationship.

Long distance marriages typically occur after a couple has lived together for some period of time. The separation is usually due to one partner's career. Physical distance places several unique stresses on a marriage. First of all, the bulk of household and child care responsibilities fall to one partner. This partner may grow resentful or envy the freedom and seeming glamour of the commuting partner's life. They may also feel insecure if their partner is going to be working closely with members of the opposite sex.

Spouses in long distance marriages often feel lonely, especially because they've grown accustomed to living together. While the lure of sexual novelty is no different for married couples living apart than it is for those living together, physical distance may make these marriages more susceptible to infidelity. The distance makes it easier to hide an affair. There may also be a greater likelihood of one partner falling in love since it's virtually impossible to sustain emotional intimacy in a relationship during extended periods of absence.

In order for long distance romantic relationships of any kind to work, a couple needs to communicate with one another frequently and make plans to see each other regularly. The more frequent the visits and the longer the time they spend with each other - the better. Also, prior to marriage, a couple should plan to live in the same city if at all possible. Most importantly, they need to move from the honeymoon phase into the realistic phase of relationship and be sure they are able to successfully navigate the real life problems that emerge during this stage.

For married couples who live apart - the same holds true. Frequent contact by phone and in person is essential to keeping a marriage alive. It is the day-in, day-out quality of marriage that leads to emotional depth and intimacy. While absence can make the heart grow fonder, it can also result in indifference.

Copyright, Johanna Nauraine, 2010.

REPRINT RIGHTS Statement: This article is free for republishing by visitors provided the Author Bio and Copyright is retained and the link remains active.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Things to Consider Before Agreeing to Take Part in a Long Distance Relationship

There are certain things that we have to accept losing when we move. Being able to eat at your favorite restaurant or meeting friends at a local hangout may be missed but it will not affect your entire life. If you are in a good relationship however, you may not be ready to let it go just because you are moving away. Most people will tell you that a long distance relationship is nearly impossible to maintain. In most cases, this is true but it may be possible to maintain a long distance relationship as long as you are willing to work for it.

Depending on how long you have been in a relationship you may have a hard time getting your significant other to agree to being apart for so long. Older relationships are a lot easier to maintain over a long distance because you have already had a chance to build a bond, which makes it easier to come to a reasonable agreement with your partner. Newer relationships are harder to keep over a long distance because it may be easier to get to know someone else in person than a person that you barely see.

In order for a long distance relationship to work, both parties have to come to a reasonable agreement that works for everyone involved. You have to clearly state what you want out of your relationship in order to decide what action to take. This is where the advantage goes to newer couples. Since there are usually no attachments at the beginning of most relationships, it's easier to be flexible with what you want. Most people in this situation choose to have an open relationship during the time that they are apart. One of the biggest setbacks to these type of relationships is the fact the eventually someone will want to move on and abandon their distant partner. For older relationships, this is completely out of the question because knowing that your partner may be spending time another person is too much for some.

A great deal of understanding is required in a long distance relationship. If a couple is prone to petty arguments like what type of out of state movers to use or whether or not to use moving company insurance the relationship may not last too long. What may start as simple missed call can lead to feelings of abandonment and betrayal. The fact that you do not see each other regularly can bring about many conflicts. You should make time during every conversation to voice any issues that may put a wedge between you. This will make it easier to handle small misunderstandings.

When you get a chance to see your significant other you should avoid trying to make everything perfect and just enjoy your time together. Trying to plan the perfect weekend can put a lot of pressure on a relationship and can get in the way of the quality time you both need. As long as both parties are aware of each other's expectations during a long distance relationship, it is entirely possible to maintain a bond until you are reunited.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Do Long Distance Relationships Work? Four Factors To Consider

Have you ever been apart from a loved one and wondered, "Do long distance relationships work?" Are you struggling with the decision to continue or end a relationship because of geographic distance? What are the odds that such a relationship can really work? In this age of increased technology; e.g., online dating, Facebook, and increased job turnover, more people in relationships are living apart than ever before. There are many factors that influence the relative success of such a relationship. Here are a few to consider:

Did the relationship start out long distance?

If a couple has always lived apart, there are not as many adjustments to be made as there would be if they had been in the same household for several years and then suddenly were separated. For couples who become separated due to a job, schooling, etc., relationship rules suddenly need major changes, and this can upset the delicate balance. On the other hand, partners who have had the opportunity to live together already may have forged stronger bonds of intimacy that will help them withstand the separation. So, do long distance relationships work? So far, it's a toss-up.

How often can the couple meet face-to-face?

Being separated on weekdays is one thing, when you have long weekends together. Such an arrangement can even bring zest to a relationship where familiarity has bred, if not contempt, a little boredom. But separations for months on end can become damaging to the fabric of the relationship. Partners may tend to former closer relationships with others in their new orbit or to become so independent of each other that co-existence under one roof becomes a land mine. Do long distance relationships work? The vote is: not as likely if separations are long.

For how long will be relationship be long distance?

Applying the same logic, a short-term arrangement of long distance dating or marriage can be an interesting challenge, and even breathe new life into the relationship's routine. If the relationship lasts for years, partners may have two separate lives and experience difficulty staying in the same orbit. Do long distance relationships work? Short-term, yes. Long-term: consider the warning signs.

What are the levels of trust and independence?

Each partner's personality influences the relative success of a long distance relationship. A suspicious or dependent mate will really struggle with physical separation. On the other hand, couples who have high degrees of trust, coupled with an enjoyment of time alone and independence, may actually thrive in such a relationship. Do long distance relationships work? With compatible personalities, the answer may be yes.

As you can see, there is no clear answer to the question: do long distance relationships work? A complex set of factors influences the success or failure of any relationship. If you are facing a potential long distance relationship in your life, consider: the history of your relationship, the length and type of separation, your own personality and that of your partner. A thoughtful analysis of these factors may help you decide if you are ready to pursue or maintain a relationship with a far-away loved one.

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This article is contributed by Tina Jones from the Unforgettable Woman Publishing Team. She works together with founder Alexandra Fox and writes dating/relationship articles for women. You can find more about Unforgettable Woman Publishing by visiting their website.

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Tina L. Jones - EzineArticles Expert Author