Long Distance Relationships - Can They Really Work?

Having been a previous member of the 'long distance relationship club' myself and currently living a long distance relationship vicariously through my best friend it made me wonder - can long distance relationships really work?

My personal experience with long distance relationships was mostly unfavourable. Firstly I only got to see my now ex boyfriend once a month as we lived at opposite ends of the country. Although I spoke to him every day on the phone I soon found out that phone relationships and 'real' relationships are two entirely different things. On the phone it was all 'I love you' and 'I miss you' and you would think face to face those feelings would be ten times stronger, after all absence makes the heart grow fonder right? In my case wrong. So wrong. In fact I seem to remember more often than not our supposed romantic rendezvous' often involved arguing usually about insignificant things. Towards the end of the relationship it got to the point where a small part of me actually dreaded these meetings because of the bickering I knew was bound to ensue at some point over the weekend.

I suppose looking back you could put our altercations down to the fact we never really got the chance to know each other, what with only seeing each other for a few days every month. Talking on the phone is one thing but nothing is as valuable as getting face to face time. Being in someone's company, being up close and personal and learning the little things about them such as their cute little mannerisms. Quality time is crucial.

Also another negative factor for me was not being able to be there when those unpredictable events that life seems to throw at us sometimes occur. One such incident is when a friend of my ex boyfriend suddenly died I hated the fact I couldn't be with him immediately to give him a hug and comfort him.

However, on the flip side of things my best friend is happily enjoying a long distance relationship. She sees her boyfriend every week and they manage to keep their relationship exciting and fresh. So much so in fact they decided to go to Paris one weekend just for a change, as you do! They are a couple who adore each other, are devoted to each other and so in love. It is almost like there is no distance between them and they both work hard to keep the spark alive. They believe they are destined soul mates and do not let the distance stop them maintaining a great relationship.

I believe it all comes down to your own personal preference. Are you someone who prefers physical intimacy and spending quality time with a loved one? Or maybe you prefer having your own space and having more quality time to spend with your friends and pursuing you own hobbies?

So whether you are in, or ever decide to have a long distance relationship is up to the individual. Long distances relationships are not for everyone but just remember the key to any successful relationship is strong foundations of understanding, trust, compromise, honesty, communication, determination to make it work and most importantly a whole lot of love.

By Anthonia Okoro

Top 5 Long Distance Relationship Ideas That Really Work

Long distance relationships are difficult, but they can work if you know how to handle things.

I personally know first hand about the difficulties, since I have had 2 long-lasting ones in my lifetime.

The first lasted for 3 years, and my partner at the time was in Europe (while I lived in California)! It was difficult to keep things interesting. Most of the time, we would only talk via email. We didn't even get to talk on the phone very often because we had different cell phone carriers. We really needed some long distance relationship ideas.

Our relationship lasted quite some time, and it was difficult to not consider dating other people, but I stayed faithful to my partner and didn't pursue anyone else.

After meeting several times in person, and having a fair share of arguments, we eventually decided to split.

I was disgusted, I was convinced that I would never allow myself to be in another long distance relationship ever again.

However, after relocating for school and trying to meet new people in new surroundings, I had no success finding the right person.

I decided to use an Internet dating site and eventually met my special someone, except that they were a 2 hour drive from me.

I wondered about the distance for a moment, but decided that it was so much closer than Europe and eventually met my current partner in person and we have been together for 2 and a half years now (1 year apart, and the rest together). I set the limit from the start.

I wasn't going to date someone extremely far away. I wouldn't have been opposed to it if one of us was committed to moving, but I wanted to keep things simple for myself. This was my long distance relationship idea that I kept in mind that really worked for me.

So, in the end, it's not impossible to meet someone far away and make it work, you just have to have perseverance and dedication.

The following are the 5 best long distance relationship ideas that I have found to really stand the test of time:

1. Don't date someone too far away (the farther away the other person is, the more difficult it is to meet him/her and make it work.

2. Make sure to consistently contact your partner. This can be via email/instant messages/phone calls/etc. The more intimate the form of contact, the better the lasting results.

3. If both of you decide that you really want to stay together for the long haul, make sure to communicate this to each other. You want to make sure that you are both on the same page with your relationship.

4. Don't let things get stale. Keep things interesting. Do new things to make the relationship feel brand new.

5. Make your partner feel special. A great idea is poetry/candy/a special dinner together in a romantic restaurant/etc.

For more great long distance relationship ideas that work, please see my resource box below.

For more long distance relationship ideas, please visit my website, which will link you to Dr. Leslie Karsner's page that offers more FREE tips for your long distance relationship, as well as an OPTIONAL FREE MEMBERSHIP to "Go Romance eZine!", please Click Here!

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