Having been a previous member of the 'long distance relationship club' myself and currently living a long distance relationship vicariously through my best friend it made me wonder - can long distance relationships really work?
My personal experience with long distance relationships was mostly unfavourable. Firstly I only got to see my now ex boyfriend once a month as we lived at opposite ends of the country. Although I spoke to him every day on the phone I soon found out that phone relationships and 'real' relationships are two entirely different things. On the phone it was all 'I love you' and 'I miss you' and you would think face to face those feelings would be ten times stronger, after all absence makes the heart grow fonder right? In my case wrong. So wrong. In fact I seem to remember more often than not our supposed romantic rendezvous' often involved arguing usually about insignificant things. Towards the end of the relationship it got to the point where a small part of me actually dreaded these meetings because of the bickering I knew was bound to ensue at some point over the weekend.
I suppose looking back you could put our altercations down to the fact we never really got the chance to know each other, what with only seeing each other for a few days every month. Talking on the phone is one thing but nothing is as valuable as getting face to face time. Being in someone's company, being up close and personal and learning the little things about them such as their cute little mannerisms. Quality time is crucial.
Also another negative factor for me was not being able to be there when those unpredictable events that life seems to throw at us sometimes occur. One such incident is when a friend of my ex boyfriend suddenly died I hated the fact I couldn't be with him immediately to give him a hug and comfort him.
However, on the flip side of things my best friend is happily enjoying a long distance relationship. She sees her boyfriend every week and they manage to keep their relationship exciting and fresh. So much so in fact they decided to go to Paris one weekend just for a change, as you do! They are a couple who adore each other, are devoted to each other and so in love. It is almost like there is no distance between them and they both work hard to keep the spark alive. They believe they are destined soul mates and do not let the distance stop them maintaining a great relationship.
I believe it all comes down to your own personal preference. Are you someone who prefers physical intimacy and spending quality time with a loved one? Or maybe you prefer having your own space and having more quality time to spend with your friends and pursuing you own hobbies?
So whether you are in, or ever decide to have a long distance relationship is up to the individual. Long distances relationships are not for everyone but just remember the key to any successful relationship is strong foundations of understanding, trust, compromise, honesty, communication, determination to make it work and most importantly a whole lot of love.
By Anthonia Okoro
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