One of the best parts of text flirting is that people are willing to say things over text that they would not say in person. This is an advantage to us seducers, because we can push ourselves to be a little more direct, a little more dominant, and a little more sexual than we might be willing to be in person. Once we start getting positive reactions to these new efforts, it gives us more confidence to embody them in person and can help us transform to more dominant and sexual men (always good).
Recently, however, I had the brainstorm that this also plays a role in the way that we decipher those hard-to-read women. An incredible thing happened with a girl that I would love to share with you.
She was one of those women that was very frank. She did not speak very often, though everything she said was valuable. That is a rare quality in LA and, as one of my good friends said after I recounted our incredible first date to him, "How does it feel to date a girl that says very little and means what she says?"
Incredible, is how it felt, but it was also very slow-going. If I was to judge our relationship based on our body language, I would say she sorta liked me. Technical terms, of course. If I was to judge our relationship based only on the words she said, I would say she barely tolerated me. However, if I was to judge our relationship based solely on what went on in her eyes when we looked at each other, I could confidently tell you we were both hopelessly infatuated with each other.
You see the position I was in. Tough.
I was in this constant vortex, bouncing between did she really hate me or did she really like me. She had so many other guys around her, vying for her attention (as all high-value women do), that I really did not know if she was just an incredible attractive woman that hooked every guy with her incredible ability to speak love with her eyes, or if I really did make a connection and she just had a tough exterior (from every douche bag trying to get in her pants). I had to figure it out and, when she texted me one night (an indicator of interest), I found the opportunity.
We texted for a while about mutual likes and dislikes for a bit (a must before delving into qualification), and then I told her how interesting it was that the impression I get when I look in her eyes is completely different from what she says to me. I told her that I thought she was cold-as-ice to me and she, much to my surprise, laid it right down on the line for me.
She explained simply that I hadn't opened up to her enough for her to open up to me (ironic, because I thought it was the other way around!), and that she was very interested in me, but she didn't know if it was safe inside my world, yet.
This was amazing and an incredible explanation for me. I'm one of a very select group of men in the world that have the pleasure of understanding most of what women are thinking, but sometimes we still get caught up and forget that, sometimes, the most simple way to find out is to ask her! Text allows us her the distance that acts as a buffer zone, so (in most cases) she won't be afraid that we'll take advantage of it.
Now, don't get me wrong, I am not saying that big relationship discussions should be held over text and I'm CERTAINLY not saying that it is a good way to find out things that you can use to manipulate a woman. What I want you to consider is that the same distance (buffer zone) that allows you the confidence to try things you're a bit afraid of, can help her to feel more comfortable to ease into the more personal and relationship-oriented discussions at the beginning of a courtship. This text buffer-zone can be a great way to help understand where she's coming from when interacting with you.
Remember that, even though beautiful women have more social experience and more experience dealing with the ups and downs of courtships, they are often still nervous about a man's intentions. It is our job, much like every aspect of the seduction, to make sure that she's comfortable and that she knows we have her best intentions at heart (because, you do - RIGHT??).
Voted the Best New Pick Up Artist of 2010, ABCs Of Attraction's Instructor Gareth Jones is known worldwide as a life-changing in-field coach and as the master of phone and text game from his iGame: From Text To Sex program. He can be reached for live coaching or media interviews at 1-888-689-4263.
Referred to by several students as "One of the best decisions of my life", Gareth's coaching polishes your game and brings your skills to a James Bond level of suave.
Go to his blog "The Gareth Jones" for his free ebook on phone seduction, text flirgin, sexting, and online Facebook dating!
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