Can a Long Distance Relationship Survive?

People these days are very mobile, and it is not uncommon for them to move for school, a job, or a military deployment. In addition, now that everyone is online, it is also quite common to meet someone over the Internet who lives far from your hometown. These factors have made long distance relationships quite common, but can long distance relationships survive? Learn how to decide if a long distance relationship is worth the trouble, and how you can make yours a success.

There is an old saying that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Some even say that familiarity breeds contempt. These sayings were probably written by someone in a long distance relationship! It is certainly true that there is something very special about the time spent with a loved one who you only get to see occasionally. In a long distance relationship, there is little of the day to day grind, so that when you do make the trip to see your sweetie, that time together tends to be spent doing fun and exciting things. That in turn makes the relationship seem very exciting.

To make up for the lack of daily or even weekly contact, it is important to keep in touch via phone calls, letters, and email. Long, romantic letters can be one of the best things about having a distant boyfriend or girlfriend, as a matter of fact. Without regular times to have long phone calls, the relationship will end up withering. Send little gifts to say "I was thinking of you", like a pair of pearl earrings you picked up while on a business trip or a travel guide to a place you want to visit together. Of course, it is very important to remember special occasions like birthdays, and to do your best to be there in person to give her a pair of pearl earrings or to give him a new set of golf clubs. To have any chance of nurturing a long distance relationship into something lasting, both people have to be willing to put in the work to stay connected. Otherwise there is no chance that the couple will stay together.

Trust is another vital element in maintaining a long distance romance. If you know that you are the jealous type, you may never be able to become comfortable with having your boyfriend or girlfriend (or spouse, for that matter) in a far off location. Their daily life will be filled with people that you do not know, and some of them are bound to be attractive members of the opposite sex. If you cannot trust your partner to remain faithful when they are far away, a long distance relationship is definitely not for you.

Living far apart can tend to make people grow apart. This is why extended deployments or living apart because of school or an out-of-state job can be so difficult on a marriage or relationship. When one half of the couple decides to take on a commitment which requires them to live in a different place than their mate, it can really take a toll. People get comfortable in their own separate lives, sometimes to the point where it no longer seems necessary to keep the other person as a part of their life. I have seen divorces happen when a married couple tries to make a go of it long distance.

For a long distance relationship to have a chance at succeeding, there has to be an end point in mind for the separation. If there is no chance that you will ever live in the same place, it is hard to stay motivated to put in the work required for a long distance relationship. It can get very lonely. The long distance romances that end up working out are those which hold the promise of one day being together all the time. With that goal in sight, it becomes easier to endure the hardships associated with trying to build and maintain a relationship with someone whom you rarely see.