So you surrendered to loneliness, silence and communication via electronic devices in your quest to maintain your long distance relationship. It wasn't an easy choice and you're still struggling to swallow the fact. Wondering what your loved one is doing on a minute by minute basis, who they're with, if they are thinking about you etc... Don't give in to the insanity. As unimaginable as it may sound, long distance relationships have a success rate and all you have to do is commit to the fun in making them work.
1. The master-key to keeping your long distance relationship exciting is to keep in touch however and whenever you can. Be it emails or text messages; use these mediums to constantly remind each other of your love and commitment to each other and to the relationship. You can send e-cards just as regularly or photographs of what's going on with you on the home front. For the super romantics, take up writing long, juicy love letters to each other. Hey. Don't knock it till you try it. You can have some additional fun with the letters by creating different scenarios e.g. you're stuck on an island and the letter is a message in a bottle. Use that imagination you have been blessed with!
2. Learn to put a lid on your feelings of uncertainty. And feelings of uncertainty will abound. If you haven't heard from them in a couple of days, don't go imagining that they are out there trawling the streets looking for your replacement. Just take a deep breath and remind yourself who your loved one is and the promises they made to you before they left. Be careful though if your periods of communication start too gradually decrease and you slowly get estranged from each other. You know that feeling....you just don't know them anymore, you don't want to get there.
3. Be honest with yourselves. If you're depressed by the move, as much as you don't want to add to their pile of guilt, at least let them know of your struggles to cope with their absence. If you are falling out of love with the person, be upfront about it. There is no point in pretending to be the perfect mate when your heart has decided otherwise.
4. When you're loved one left, so did your pettiness. Don't burden them with the small stuff. If you were left to manage the home front then do so without bothering your loved one with all the details. They don't need to know how you got rid of the ants in the kitchen during your weekly 5 minute phone call.
5. Pick a hobby that you can both enjoy from both ends. This way when you get to talk, you have more to say than how much you're missing each other. You also get to share your common interests, reminding you both why you are together in the first place. Start with small things like TV shows or a book.
6. Surprise them by showing up on their doorstep. Words are not always enough and your arriving at their door could just be the pick-me-up they have been afraid to ask for.
7. Before your loved one arrives, spruce up the house and yourself. Stock the fridge or mow the lawn. This way you will have more time to spend together instead of engaging in petty errands and chores. Keep up your appearance and whatever new ventures you got into during their absence. The combination will keep your loved one constantly surprised and they'll take back some poignant memories with them.
8. When you loved one leaves, hide love notes in their luggage or thoughtful gifts. This way, whenever they come across each one, you will be on their minds. Call ahead and have flowers or treats waiting for them.
9. Create lists on why you love and appreciate each other and swap them once a week. This way, you maintain the flame of the relationship and remind each other why you are still together. The lists will also be a source of comfort during your loneliest hours.
10. The internet has allowed a milliard of possibilities to come to life and virtual dates are one of them. Go on one regularly so as to diminish the longing for them. If you follow these tips then even though you miss your loved one you will still feel the shared connection and you will be able to stroke the fires even when you are far away.
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